How Do You Know When It’s Time To Have Another Child?
How do you know when it’s time to have another child? Before I became a mom I knew I wanted to have at least two kids. That was always my plan, but now that I’m a mom, I’m not so sure. I have absolutely fallen in love with being a mom, but I find myself very fulfilled by just being Artie’s mom.
I want him to have a sibling but I also want to provide the best for him. Another child means more expenses and more of my time, would there be less time for him? Artie is only 11 months old so I know that over the next few years I will have my answer, and can’t wait to see what the future holds for our family!
I want to hear from you! How did you know you were ready for your second child? Did you decide having only one child was best for your family? Let me know in the comments!
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We knew before starting, we wanted to have at least 2 children. I was hoping for boys but wouldn’t mind having 2 boys and a girl. So we got pregnant with our first child very quickly. It was a boy:) We loved him so much and we knew we wanted him to have a sibling. I was breastfeeding and knew I wanted to do that for at least his first year of life. So our plan was to wait until he was at least a year old and we figured it would take time … so we started when he was a year old. We thought it would take a few months and they would be around 2 years apart or so … we had friends that said that was perfect. Well, I think my husband is secretly William Tell because we got pregnant almost immediately. Here my first son is only 13 months old and I was pregnant with number 2. On the plus side, doc said stop breastfeeding immediately so I had no choice and so that made that easier on me. So my boys are 21 months apart. I’ll be honest, at first, having a newborn and a toddler was not easy, but my husband and family and friends were so supportive. I also made sure to create a mama’s network, that was so helpful. Once the second child was sitting up and playing and interacting with his brother, then I saw it … this was going to be the beginning of a wonderful relationship. They soon began the best of buddies. I loved having them close in age throughout preschool and elementary because they would play and entertain each other and hand me downs with clothes and toys were great too. They are teens now, and though they like their space, they do still hang out together some. I think they will be close for life! I really feel, your gut will let you know when the timing is right and God has a plan for you, so it will all turn out just right!
That is so wonderful to hear! You gave your sons their best friend! Thank you so much for sharing this!!! I bet it is so much fun watching them grow up together!
It is yet and still a big question whether I will have one more or would keep simple one child. It is hard for me to decide. I will be reading through advices and comments as well.
Thanks for reading my post!
Me too!
I always knew I wanted just the one.. but now that she’s 4… im really missing all the baby moments and milestones…
Having a hard time trying to decide if we want another.
Will I have anymore love to give? How could I possibly split my time with another little human? Will my daughter feel left out??
My daughter and I are pretty much attached at the hip….
Exactly! I’m happy to hear that other moms feel the same way! I also think he would have a lot of fun with a sibling so… I don’t know!
I think there are a lot of factors that go into this. I think spacing kids about 2 years apart is good – they have their own independent lives – they are just far enough apart but can still play together. It gives you a break from things like nursing and allows your body to recuperate from pregnancy. Now that I am done having kids I do not miss all those sleepless nights and diapers, so I would probably space kids all about 2 years apart until I was done.
Thanks! This is great advice!
We always knew we wanted our kids to be close in age and more than 1. As soon as the first one turned one we started “practicing” for the second and we were blessed with our second. We wanted to do the same with our third but my husband was working abroad so logistically it was impossible. Once we where together and established we tried for the third and voila! Would’ve been happy even if it had not turned out as planned but thankful that it did. My kids are best friends! I’m so tired some days but it shall pass soon 🙂
That’s so great to hear! Thank you for sharing!
I was convinced I would stop at 1 child but when he was almost 3, I got bit with the baby bug again. I just wanted another baby. No one talked me into it (and believe me, a lot of people tried to). I was just a feeling.
Sometimes you just know. Will I want another? I hope not but who knows.
I have heard this before from friends! I wonder if I will get bitten by the baby bug in the next few years… time will tell!
You made a great point. I always thought I would want to have 2 (or more) kids in the past, but after devoting all of myself to my daughter it’s hard to imagine having more kids now. I guess we’ll see!
I’m glad I’m not the only one! Thanks!
Well i had my two boys really early on, by the age of 23 I had both of em! And we didn’t want another… until after nearly 5 years we had another one because all of a sudden we felt like we want another… and now he is 13 months . My husband wants another kid, but I’m just scared of sleepless nights and cries and housework … so don’t know.. I guess I won’t b the best to advice … but I can see in the comment you have some good advice.. originally I wanted 12 kids!!me and my sister are only two and I wanted to have a bigger family and give my children more siblings …. so 12 seeemed like a good number that was way before I even got married though! But I don’t know now… I barely manage 3…
It’s funny how you can think you know and then completely change your mind! Thank you for sharing this!
I’m hoping I’ll know when the time comes. I’m content right now with my daughter, she’s only a year and I never wanted babies so close together that I miss out on one on one time with her. I’m thinking we’ll start trying when she’s 3-4ish. My partner has two boys, and all of his kids somehow ended up exactly 4 years apart, so maybe we’ll keep up the trend.
It sounds like a good plan!
We didn’t know we were ready but when I found out hubby and I were expecting again when our first was 6 months old we had to get ready. It’s been an awesome ride! Never a dull moment 😉
I bet! I guess it’s kind of like having your first baby… you get ready when you have to!
I have a one year old little girl. I’m having a hard imagining another little one to devote my time to. Also having a hard time not picture another little one. I know I want them close in age. Also want a spring baby, so we wouldn’t start trying for a few months. My daughter is a fall baby, and I want their birthdays far apart so I figured a spring baby would be good. I want them to grow up with each other, play together, and protect each other on the playground. I know I want that just having trouble picturing my days scheduled just so, because I do work from home. Working from home on top of household chores with a toddle and a newborn just scares me a little. Two kids is my max l, but sometimes, rarely, but sometimes my life feels a bit chaotic with just one.
I get what you mean! I also have a hard time imagining having another child but also have a hard time imagining not having another! Thank you for your input!
Enjoyed this post as I have been following the comments and what others think about having another child. Made me wonder for mine.
Me too! It has been so great hearing from other moms!
I’m not sure that anyone else has been in this situation, however, my husband refused more. We dated for 2 years and were engaged for another 2 years before marriage and always planned on at least 2 children. Growing up myself having a large age gap between me and my sister, (8years) I was always reinforcing the fact that I didn’t want a large age gap between our kids. He seemed fine with that. After our son was born in 2008 he changed his tune. I was 26, he was 28 when Connor was born. We had good jobs as professionals but he enjoyed time with his friends and fun. From the time Connor turned one I started to talk about more. He wouldn’t even discuss it and often times would be harsh about it, shutting me down. He’d avoid the discussion stating it wasn’t the right time. It was never the right time and the fighting worsened as my anxiety increased about the time Connor was 3. About the time Connor turned 4, I realized that it was getting too late and was no longer the situation I had dreamed of. My heart has pained for years, although we stayed together, most days I feel resentful about the fact that my husband took something from me I will never get back. To say it has taken a toll on our marriage is an understatement. We fight about nothing else except this one huge problem. There is no changing it and has been a hard reality to face. I went back to graduate school and I have continued to be the “breadwinner” of the family and support my husband and son the best I can. I work hard and they have anything and everything they want or need. Within the first 6 months of my 2 year program and my son being 8 years old at the time, hubby decides that he’s ready and now understands what I always was saying. He now wants more. I think he’s crazy. He tells me at the time that he won’t change his mind and if I decide to have more, he feels more ready than ever. I am 36, he is 38, Connor is almost 11 now. My heart hurts every single day for the incompleteness I feel but I am torn that this is not what I ever wanted. I feel too old, too tired. My health isn’t as great. My risk for my health and genetic anomaly is exponentially higher. I don’t want to start over again now. I am feeling mad that it has always had to be his way…. has anyone else had a similar situation? What did you do?